Nonsense Books

Nonsense Books

Edward Lear

by

EDWARD LEAR.

With All the Original Pictures and Verses

There was an Old Derry down Derry, who loved to see little folks

merry;

So he made them a Book, and with laughter they shook

At the fun of that Derry down Derry.

TO THE

GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, GRAND-NEPHEWS, AND GRAND-NIECES

OF EDWARD, 13TH EARL OF DERBY,

THIS BOOK OF DRAWINGS AND VERSES

(The greater part of which were originally

made and composed for their parents.)

Is Dedicated by the Author,

EDWARD LEAR.

London, 1862.

There was an Old Man with a nose,

Who said, "If you choose to suppose

That my nose is too long, you are certainly wrong!"

That remarkable Man with a nose.

There was a Young Person of Smyrna,

Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;

But she seized on the Cat, and said, "Granny, burn that!

You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!"

There was an Old Man on a hill,

Who seldom, if ever, stood still;

He ran up and down in his Grandmother's gown,

Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.

There was an Old Person of Chili,

Whose conduct was painful and silly;

He sate on the stairs, eating apples and pears,

That imprudent Old Person of Chili.

There was an Old Man with a gong,

Who bumped at it all the day long;

But they called out, "Oh, law! you're a horrid old bore!"

So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.

There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,

Who never had more than a penny;

He spent all that money in onions and honey,

That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.

There was an Old Man of Columbia,

Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;

But they brought it quite hot, in a small copper pot,

Which disgusted that man of Columbia.

There was an Old Man in a tree,

Who was horribly bored by a Bee;

When they said, "Does it buzz?" he replied, "Yes, it does!

It's a regular brute of a Bee."

There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,

Who made a remarkable curtsey;

She twirled round and round, till she sank underground,

Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.

There was a Young Lady whose chin

Resembled the point of a pin;

So she had it made sharp, and purchased a harp,

And played several tunes with her chin.

There was an Old Man with a flute,--

A "sarpint" ran into his boot!

But he played day and night, till the "sarpint" took flight,

And avoided that Man with a flute.

There was a Young Lady of Portugal,

Whose ideas were excessively nautical;

She climbed up a tree to examine the sea,

But declared she would never leave Portugal.

There was an Old Person of Ischia,

Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;

He danced hornpipes and jigs, and ate thousands of figs,

That lively Old Person of Ischia

There was an Old Man of Vienna,

Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;

When that did not agree, he took Camomile Tea,

That nasty Old Man of Vienna.

[Illustraion]

There was an Old Man in a boat,

Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"

When they said, "No, you ain't!" he was ready to faint,

That unhappy Old Man in a boat.

There was an Old Person of Buda,

Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,

Till at last with a hammer they silenced his clamor.

By smashing that Person of Buda.

There was an Old Man of Moldavia,

Who had the most curious behavior;

For while he was able, he slept on a table,

That funny Old Man of Moldavia.

There was an Old Person of Hurst,

Who drank when he was not athirst;

When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?"

That globular Person of Hurst.

There was an Old Man of Madras,

Who rode on a cream-colored Ass;

But the length of its ears so promoted his fears,

That it killed that Old Man of Madras.

There was an Old Person of Dover,

Who rushed through a field of blue clover;

But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees,

So he very soon went back to Dover.